Mosaics Within My Mind


Understanding Neurodiversity: What Psychotherapists Need to Know

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Question: What do neurodivergents want psychotherapists to know about the neurodiverse neurotype?

With the understanding and acceptance of neurodiversity growing bigger every year, it is time that psychotherapists must adapt their approaches to meet the unique needs of their neurodiverse clientele. Individuals with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other neurodiverse conditions can and do often face challenges that are misunderstood or overlooked by the traditional therapy practice. I myself have walked away from several because they did nothing for me. Here are some key insights that neurodiverse people with their therapists understood(collected from a range of social media sites and summarized):

1. Neurodiversity is not a Deficit

One of the most crucial points we are trying to make is that neurodiversity should not be viewed as a deficit or a disorder, such as in the medical model. We instead want to be viewed as just thinking differently, the social model. Our way of processing and experiencing the world is different, not less. We neurodivergent people often have unique strengths and abilities that can be harnessed with the right support and understanding. Therapists should focus on these strengths and work with their clients to leverage them in overcoming challenges rather than fixating on our weaknesses.

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2. Avoid Pathologizing Neurodivergent Behaviors or Beliefs

Are you pathologizing skin color? Eye color? Hair type? No. So please stop pathologizing our behaviors and beliefs. Behaviors that may seem unusual or inappropriate from a “neurotypical perspective” can be perfectly normal for we neurodiverse people. For example, stimming (self-stimulatory behavior) is a common coping mechanism for those with autism but also neurotypicals. Do you Click your pen while thinking? Kick your leg in meetings or while waiting? Play with your hair? Adjust your glasses frequently. Chew your lip? These are just a few examples of socially acceptable stims that the general populace has. Yet, for some reason, we flap our hands, jump up and down, or wiggle, and we have a problem? The hypocrisy of that belief is astounding. Therapists should avoid pathologizing these behaviors and instead focus and understand the purpose and functionality of them.  

3. Tailor Communication Style

From personal experience- traditional talk therapy does not work for neurodiverse people. We can talk through our traumas with no problem; most of us have intellectualized our experiences to the entire degree. We need help processing and “feeling our feelings” most of the time. Effective communication is obviously, critical in therapy, but some neurodiverse people may have different communication preferences and needs.

I personally prefer telehealth it’s easier for me to be vulnerable when I am in my own space, and there is not a person physically in front of me. Some neurodiverse people prefer written communication; others may need more visual aids and may appreciate clear, direct language without ambiguous terms or language like metaphors. Therapists need to communicate with their clients and ask explicitly (not broadly) about communication preferences, then adjust accordingly.  

4. Sensory Sensitivities Are Very Real and Very Impactful

Every neurodiverse person I have met has sensory issues. Many experience heightened sensory sensitivities. This can and does often include sensitivity to light, sound, touch, or certain textures; understanding and accommodating these sensitivities can create a more comfortable and supportive therapeutic environment not just for neurodivergent clients but neurotypicals too. Plus, many neurodivergent people don’t even know they are neurodiverse and don’t understand why they are uncomfortable in certain environments. That’s why many are seeking therapy. Simple adjustments like reducing background noise or light filtering can make a major difference.

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It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.

Audre Lorde
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5. Respect for Autonomy and Individuality  

It has been my experience that neurodiverse people, especially those with more severe impacts, have had their autonomy entirely stripped their whole life “for their own sake,” and often, that is abused, especially if the guardians themselves do not understand at a deep enough level the neurodiverse experience. I myself, though undiagnosed until well into adulthood, was not allowed any autonomy at all until after I became a legal adult. Your neurodiverse clients need to have a sense of control, and if the family or guardians won’t allow it outside the therapeutic space, it’s up to you to create that within your office.

Make your office their sanctuary for autonomy. It is so essential for therapists to respect the client’s autonomy and individual choices, even if they differ from social, religious, cultural, or family norms. Imposing neurotypical standards can be detrimental and may undermine the client’s self-esteem and progress. I myself am just now, in my 30s, grabbing my autonomy “by the horns” and beginning to feel like an individual with views that are neither right nor wrong, just mine. If I had that when I was younger, I guarantee I would be much further in life.  

6. Embrace a Strengths-Based Approach

A strengths-based approach focuses on what each neurodivergent client can do rather than what they struggle with. This more positive framing can boost self-confidence and motivation. Therapists should help their clients identify their strengths and find ways to use these strengths in everyday life and coping strategies.

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Sometimes, we need “handholding” and a little extra guidance. I know of my son, I have to be explicit, direct, and not forget that. For example, In his medical appointments, he can not simply be asked how he is feeling. You must ask directly, do you get head pains? Do your eyes hurt? Are they blurry or itchy?

Do your ears hurt, itch, ache, sound funny? And so on. We need specific questions, where we take in a lot of information at any time, so it’s easier to filter through the data if we know exactly what we’re looking for.  

7. Be Aware of Intersectionality

Struggle and strife can and often are exacerbated and even mutated by the intersectional nature of life. Being a part of multiple marginalized groups can and does lead to complex social structures, rules, and struggles that are unique to that person or group. Race, gender, sexuality, culture, etc., all play into our daily struggles.

These intersections can compound the experiences of discrimination and misunderstanding. Therapists should remain aware of these intersections and consider them when developing treatment plans.  

For example, if someone is in poverty, telling them to guy special equipment or supplies is going be make them feel worse—yet another thing they can not afford. If someone is a person of color and you tell them to stand up to the people bullying or harming them, that completely discounts the danger and safety risks inherent to that action for people of color.  

8. Understand the Importance of Routine and Predictability

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For many, if not most, neurodiverse people, routine and predictability are essential for managing anxiety and functioning effectively. Therapists should and do need to recognize the importance of these elements and help clients develop and maintain routines that work for them. This could look like always keeping appointments on a specific day and time and having a ritual of some kind at the beginning and end of each session to help their minds settle into and transition out of the therapeutic space.  

Conclusion

Therapists who work with neurodiverse clients have a unique opportunity to support and empower individuals by embracing these talking points. There are many more out there; these are just the most common I have found. By moving away from the deficit-based model and towards one that celebrates neurodiversity, her5apits can foster a more inclusive and effective therapeutic environment that makes neurodiverse clients feel safe and welcome. Neurodiverse individuals are seeking therapists who understand their needs, respect their differences, and are committed to helping them thrive in their own ways.


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