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"From Awkward Laughs to Inked Paths: Writing Without Limits"
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“From Awkward Laughs to Inked Paths: Writing Without Limits”
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- Do Disabled People Get Labeled As “Creeps” More Frequently Than Non-Disabled People?
- Exploring Neurodiversity in TV: Authentic Representations and Ongoing Challenges
- 10 Famous Authors with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Neurodivergence You Should Know About
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Question: Why Does Society Treat Poor Social Skills as a Worse Crime Than Bullying?
A Mother’s Heartbreak: Facing Bullying as a Family
As an autistic mother raising an autistic child, I’ve recently faced the heartbreaking and enraging experience of having to partially remove my son from public schooling due to extreme bullying and harassment.
Watching him endure the same pain I experienced as a child has sparked a burning question within me: why does society treat poor social skills as a worse crime than bullying someone for having poor social skills?
The Double Standard in Social Skills:
Neurotypical individuals often navigate social interactions with ease, relying heavily on unspoken rules, tone, and body language. For neurodivergent people, like my son and me, communication is more straightforward and literal. We say what we mean and mean what we say, and we expect others to do the same.
However, our clear and specific communication style is frequently misinterpreted by neurotypical individuals who infuse words with meanings that aren’t there. They claim that our tone or body language conveys something different from our words, leading to the misconception that we are the ones with the communication problem.
We’re accused of having an attitude or being disrespectful when, in truth, we are likely frustrated by something or someone, sometimes completely unrelated. This double standard is not just frustrating; it’s deeply unjust.
Clear Communication – Misunderstood and Marginalized
The root of this issue lies in the fundamental misunderstanding of neurodivergent communication. When neurotypical people misinterpret our words and then blame us for the misunderstanding, they are essentially shifting the responsibility of communication onto us instead of asking themselves if they understood correctly.
This blame-shifting not only invalidates our perfectly valid way of communicating but also perpetuates the idea that we are inherently flawed. This problem could easily be fixed by asking the neurodiverse person if your interpretation is correct.
They already pathologize our communication style, using it as a joke on TV shows and movies. Society bullies us, treating us as less than neurotypicals. As if having a differnt communication style makes you less intelligent. Deaf and hard of hearing deal with this prejudice as well.
My son’s current favorite song; I think he’s got good taste.
The Social Hierarchy: Barrier to Progress
Our society’s hierarchical thinking exacerbates this problem. Social hierarchies inherently place some individuals above others, creating a toxic environment where people are judged and valued based on arbitrary social norms.
This hierarchical mindset is patriarchal and regressive, holding society back from actual progress and change. Neurotypicals seem to fear change; every neurodivergent I know will gladly accept change if it is clearly outlined for the betterment of all.
Hierarchical thinking allows for the dismissal of suffering and misfortune as personal failings rather than societal ones.
Did you know that neurodivergents are at increased risk of unemployment and homelessness? The Chicago School reported that about 85% of Autistic people are unemployed compared to just 4.2% of the overall populace in the United States. Unemployment rates for neurodivergent adults (including all forms of neurodivergence) can be as high as 30-40%. These people are more likely to be estranged from family and struggle to build social relationships due to these social barriers.
Consider this the next time you see a panhandler; there is a good chance they are not an addict; they are just neurodiverse, unable to live in the neurotypical society that rules with an iron fist. This is not to dismiss addiction in neurodivergence; it is a known and well-researched phenomenon. The co-occurrence of neurodivergence and mental health struggles is also well-researched, with some studies stating about 37.9% of adults with substance use disorders also have mental health struggles.
If society accepted us readily and didn’t fuss over accommodations, which genuinely help everyone, these numbers would likely be much lower. People turn to addiction when they feel lonely, isolated, and unable to ask for help.
The Real Communication Failure
The actual communication failure lies not with neurodivergent individuals but with a society that refuses to acknowledge and adapt to different communication styles. Neurotypical people often claim that we lack social skills, but what they perceive as a lack of skills is actually a different set of skills. We communicate clearly and precisely, but because our communication doesn’t conform to neurotypical norms, it’s deemed inferior.
Elija McClain: A Tragic Example of How Neurotypical Misunderstanding Can Be Deadly
As Elija McClain lay dying at the hands of a police officer who didn’t take the time to talk to him, thinking he was under the influence, Elija pleaded for his life, saying, “I’m just different.” Is being different really a death sentence still? Have we learned nothing as a society? What happened to inclusion?
Bullying: The Real Crime Against Neurodiversity
Bullying and harassing someone for their communication style or social skills is far more damaging than simply having a different way of interacting with the world. Bullying inflicts deep emotional and lifelong psychological scars, as I’ve seen with myself and my own son. It’s a form of violence that society often overlooks or minimizes, especially when the victim is neurodivergent or otherwise disabled. This oversight is not just a failure of empathy on the part of neuro-typicals but a profound moral failing of our society.
Calling to Action: The Need for Change
We need to come together to shift our perspectives and recognize that being different does not mean being deficient. Neurodivergent individuals have unique strengths and ways of viewing the world that can enrich our society. Without neurodiverse individuals, we would never have had some of our greatest inventions.
Autistic and Neurodiverse Inventors and Creators Through History
Temple Grandin – Contribution: Renowned animal behaviorist and autism spokesperson. Developed humane livestock handling processes that are widely used in the meat industry.
Neurodiversity: Grandin is openly autistic and has used her experiences to advocate for better understanding and treatment of individuals with autism.
Impact: Her work has greatly improved animal welfare standards and has brought significant awareness to autism and neurodiversity.
Leonardo da Vinci – Contribution: Renowned polymath who made advancements in art, science, and engineering. His inventions included designs for flying machines, armored vehicles, and various mechanical devices.
Neurodiversity: Some historians speculate that da Vinci exhibited characteristics of ADHD or autism based on his prolific output and wide range of interests.
Impact: Da Vinci’s work has had a lasting influence on both the arts and sciences, inspiring generations of artists, engineers, and inventors.
Isaac Newton – Contribution: Formulated the laws of motion and universal gravitation, which laid the groundwork for classical mechanics. He also made significant contributions to mathematics with the development of calculus.
Neurodiversity: Newton is believed to have exhibited traits consistent with autism, such as intense focus on his work and difficulties with social interactions.
Impact: Newton’s work in physics and mathematics has had a profound impact on science, providing the basis for much of modern engineering and physical theory.
Satoshi Tajiri – Contribution: Creator of the Pokémon franchise, one of the highest-grossing media franchises of all time.
Thomas Edison – Contribution: Invented the phonograph, the motion picture camera, and the electric light bulb. Held over 1,000 patents for his inventions.
Neurodiversity: Edison is thought to have had ADHD due to his restless energy and numerous unfinished projects.
Impact: Edison’s inventions and innovations have had a profound impact on modern life, particularly in the fields of entertainment and electrical engineering.
Neurodiversity: Tajiri has publicly spoken about his experiences with Asperger’s syndrome.
Impact: Pokémon has become a global cultural phenomenon, influencing gaming, entertainment, and even education.
Albert Einstein – Contribution: Developed the theory of relativity, one of the two pillars of modern physics (alongside quantum mechanics). His equation E=mc² has been dubbed “the world’s most famous equation.”
Neurodiversity: Einstein is often speculated to have had autism or Asperger’s syndrome based on his reported social difficulties and unique cognitive abilities.
Impact: Einstein’s theories revolutionized our understanding of space, time, and energy, influencing countless fields of science and technology
Nicola Tesla – Contribution: Invented the alternating current (AC) electrical system, which is the predominant electrical system used worldwide today. He also developed the Tesla coil, which is still used in radio technology.
Neurodiversity: Tesla is often considered to have shown signs of being neurodiverse, potentially having what was previously called “Asperger’s syndrome” or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
Impact: His work laid the foundation for modern electrical engineering and greatly influenced the development of radio, television, and wireless communication.
By valuing these differences and working to understand them, we can create a more inclusive and compassionate world.
Creating an Inclusive Future for Our Children
In conclusion, society’s treatment of poor social skills as a crime worse than bullying reveals a deep-seated bias against neurodivergent individuals like myself and my son. It’s time to challenge this bias and advocate for a world where all forms of communication are respected and valued as valid. Only then can we begin to address the true crime: the bullying and harassment that so many neurodivergent people face daily, at work, at home, and in public.
Watching my son experience the same pain I did has been a stark reminder of how far we still have to go. But it’s also a call to action. We must continue to fight for a society that values and respects neurodivergent communication and stands against bullying in all its forms. Our children deserve nothing less.
- Do Disabled People Get Labeled As “Creeps” More Frequently Than Non-Disabled People?
- Exploring Neurodiversity in TV: Authentic Representations and Ongoing Challenges
- 10 Famous Authors with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Neurodivergence You Should Know About
- 10 Essential Tips for Thriving in the Summer Heat with Disabilities
- Understanding Neurodiversity: What Psychotherapists Need to Know
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